One day, in fact almost everyday when i travelled to
school with the accompany with my itouch, many thoughts
running throught my mind and i decided to pen it down.
That's the reason why sometimes i like to be alone because
i got time off to have good thoughts about myself/my life and
my furture or those things that are currently happening around me
and i can't deny the fact that i can't live without music. haha. :)
All the thoughts that is running throught my mind isn't emo-ing
nor those silly throughts but I guess reaching the growing
up phase of age whereby I tend to think of my future
rather present. All the things i had done through this
19 years of my life. 2009 is coming to an end soon and in
MARCH of 2010, i will be 20 years old. Reaching the "2"
isn't a joke in life because in the life/age starting "2"
gonna be a long long run ahead! Many things can happen
and change the fate of one's person.
Well, 19 years of my life, up and down, lots of spices!
Sometimes i really regretted walking this path of mine
that i curently had. Because I got no one to guide me along, sadly to say.
Speaking about my parents or my closest kins or wat. Well
I grow up in a negative family background, those who are close to me
will know me better or more. Not wanting to compare, but i always
ask myself why ain't i born in a better environmental?!
whereby the parents can bond closely with their children etc...
where i can at least seek help from them about my everythings,
at least a listening ears from them...I am gald all these make me
a stronger and independent girl and of coz i got good up-bringing
but just that parents-parents communicate matters most!
Another part of my life that i am facing is relationships.
Well, the man, brandon, that I be with is bringing us 2 years
of our relationship in the next year of feb. Sometime i questions
myself, will he be my future man?! I don't know because
i seems to be the bf more than the gf. This is not that kind
of r/s that i desire. I am still holding this r/s because
he is able to give me security that i am looking in as one
of the aspects. There is other trees better to blossom
with flowers and fruits..I am really feeling puzzled over my r/s.
when you attached, you prefer single but when you single,
you prefer to be attached.. this is running through my mind,
pls help me..can someone help me answer those questions that
i posed to you?! Frankly speaking, i am just living my life day by day
without knowing that i am actually dragging this hole
to be bigger and bigger that i am afraid one day i will fall into the
hole.
I come this far of my life, what had i achieve for myself?!
my dreams not yet fulfilled...but well i believe people
with big dreams will make the person feels stronger!
can i restart living my things?! argghhhh!!!
But to make me feel better..being human is the marvelous
things on earth because we can change our future.
" Being contented is enough to live life happily because humans
is always asking/demanding for more"
"simplicity makes one's live better"
** ok i am off to study for my UT!
holidays in two weeks times!!! yeah!!!
can't wait for it man, seriously!!!!
but bloody hell, got one UT before holidays
starts!!! arghhh and after holidays got 3 UT!!! fcuk!!!
